Saturday 27 March 2010

Letting go...

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that my heart is a little bit on the heavy side right now.  In about 18 hours the Cedarwood crew will embark on their annual trip to the Rocky Mountains, and for the first time since Mark and I started the trip in 2003 I won't be there.  People have asked me what I will miss most about Cedarwood when I'm no longer involved; the after 8's, wrestling matches in the main lounge, the food, or even singing late night silly songs filled with not so veiled threats provoking much laughter from the campers being lulled to sleep.  Really, in all of this, it's the relationships that I will miss the most, and that is why I am struggling at this moment.  I don't like playing favorites, I never have, but some of the kids and staff that I care about the most are on this trip and man I would love to be there with them...

You might ask me why I'm not going, and the truth is that had I wanted to I could have fought to make it happen, but it wouldn't have been the right thing to do.  If I've learned anything in my 14 years at Cedarwood it's that God calls a leader to know when to step back and let someone take their place, and no one, I repeat, no one is irreplaceable.  If I've learned anything else, it's that God is faithful in bringing in the replacements, and quite often they end up doing the job even better. I say this with full honesty and it's actually my continued prayer as well; not only do I think that these guys will probably do a better job at it than I did, but I pray that they do.  I pray that they've learned not only good things from me as I have led them, but also seen my mistakes and learned from them as well.  Things like letting the stress of leadership affect my temper or being too caught up in schedule to enjoy the beauty of spontaneity are struggles I have had, and as I've learned to deal with them in a high responsibility setting such as this, hopefully others have learned with me and from me.

Here is my prayer for this years trip, and I share it with all.  I pray that God would be glorified in and through all that happens.  I pray for safety in all they are doing, in the long drive and in the time on the mountain.  I pray for the eyes of everyone on the trip to be opened even further to the majesty of God through the witness of His incredible and mighty creation.  I pray for deep and Christ honouring friendships to be built and solidified on this trip, the kind of lifelong friendships I have been blessed with over the years.  Finally, I pray that I would be faithful to pray for them as God leads me through the time they are gone.

I guess all in all I'm not really letting go. I'm just moving on to a new responsibility, and I am confident it will bring me a new joy.

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