Saturday 13 September 2008

The Shower Talker.

So I'm just finishing off a Quarter Pounder meal after a workout at the gym.... what can I say? It was one of those days... I haven't had McDonalds in a month and I had a craving. Anyway though, this posting isn't about my failures in life... it's about an incident that actually began about 2 years ago.....
I work out at the YMCA, the oldest one in the city, and I'm not sure about any of the newer locations, but this one still has the old school gang shower concept. Basically you get used to being naked around other people very quick, but awkward situations still sometimes happen, such as the story I am about to tell.
So like I said, it started sometime about 2 years ago, and I was showering after a workout when a kid, probably around 12 years old who was also in the shower, started a conversation.

Shower Talker: "Hey... did you know you get warts from the shower floors?"
Me: "Uh no..." hoping the conversation won't go any further
Shower Talker: "Yeah... look at my warts.... right here on my feet..."
Me: ... aw crap... maybe I'll just ignore him
Shower Talker: more adamant "really... come here and look at my warts..."
Me: "That's okay... I believe you...."

Somehow I managed to get myself out of there without any further conversation, but I noticed night after night that this kid would start conversations with just about everyone in the locker room, and he would ask question after question after question.... and really, most weren't very tactful. My guess is its some sort of condition, and honestly I have no problem with conversation, but just not with some unknown kid while I'm showering....
Anyway, his schedule was very predictable, and so I was able to avoid him most times, but last year he came into the shower while I was there and started talking again....

Shower Talker: "Hey"
Me: hmmm... maybe I'll just pretend I didn't hear him....
Shower Talker: "Hey.... I said Hey..."
Me: "uh hi"
Shower Talker: "Why do you work out... are you out of shape?"
Me: "uh... I don't usually have conversations in the shower okay..."
Shower Talker: "Oh... why not...."
Me: "Just not the right place...."
Shower Talker: "Oh... some people do....."
... minute goes by....
Shower Talker: "So do you never talk in the shower.. or is that only with your girlfriend?"
Me: wow i can't believe he said that.... I'll stay silent....
Shower Talker: "oh...."

So... I did talk to him afterwards in the change room once I was dressed to some extent, and after he asked me a bunch of questions he started questioning another guy about almost everything. However, the guy was trying to be nice and asked him a few questions back like "how old are you".. and suddenly the kid is like, "I don't tell that stuff to strangers." Conversation ended.. I had a chuckle. Anyway, I went away for the summer like usual, and so I just started back at the gym last week. I've been going most mornings lately, and so this was my first Saturday evening at the gym, and as I walked in the shower he was there.

Me: try to not make eye contact and just start my shower....
Shower Talker: "Hey... do you always shower with cold water?"
Me: water's not cold.. but maybe I'll just say yes... "Yeah."
Shower Talker: "Why?"
Me: gah.... I'll stay silent...
Shower Talker: "Why.... oh... yeah...." I think he remembered....

He left the shower soon after, but came back to remind me that my locker was open... (since I don't plan on carrying my key into the shower with me...) I came out of the shower to find him questioning some guy who was a long distance trucker about what kind of cargo he carried. The guy was very patient, and I was just thankful someone else was there.

So... that's my story. I figure once I'm back at work and my regular workouts move back to evenings there will be many more one sided conversations with the Shower Talker. I'm kinda just hoping that when the renovations are finally done, semi private shower stalls are in the plans......


No comments: